Studies show that one in every three roommates sucks. Just kidding, I made that statistic up. But it sounds about right, doesn't it? I mean, we all have a roommate at one point. (Yes, your siblings count.) Sometimes you get lucky, and your roommate is a dream unicorn fairy who does everything right and your life is actually better because he or she's in it. But sometimes, your roommate is THE WORST. These are the top 10 kinds of awful out there, though some particularly atrocious humans seem to check off nearly every box on the list. Hopefully you never encounter that one.
1. The One Who Won't Buy Anything For The Apartment
This guy. I could go on forever about this guy. Whether he's cheap or straight-up doesn't realize when supplies are low, this guy is the worst. You always have to ask him to buy more dish soap. You probably have to ask more than once, too. And when you do ask, you feel like you're the jerk. You're not; this guy sucks.
2. The One Who Secretly Uses All Your Sh*t Without Asking You
I like to call this roommate "The Sampler." This person samples your stuff behind your back, and you may never even know about it. Have you ever gotten in the shower and thought to yourself, 'Hmm, why is my shampoo upside down? I didn't leave it like that...' I'll tell you why: The Sampler, who ran out of shampoo this week and didn't tell you she might need to borrow some of yours, helped herself to yours! She probably also took a handful of Goldfish from your shelf in the pantry. And then she went in your room after you left for work so she could use your straightener. Watch out for her.
3. The One Who Always Leaves Dirty Dishes In The SinkThere's always that one roommate who seems to think that a dirty dish needs to soak in the sink for at least 48 hours before they can take a sponge and soap to it. This person is generally a slob in all other respects, and you always seem to find yourself picking their shit up and putting it back in their room.
4. The One Who Has Their Significant Other Over All The Time
This roommate's boyfriend is around so much it's like he's the third roommate. And if it's not a significant other, it's a friend or friends. Are they paying rent too? Oh, they're not? Then they better not be here every night.
5. The One Who Forgets Their Keys Once A Week
How many times have you had to meet this roommate to hand off your keys? So. Many. Times. This roommate forgets other stuff, too. Like, she's probably texted you before to check if she left her curling iron on. She also can never remember what's hers in the fridge and ends up eating your food.
6. The One Who Cooks Gross Food That Stanks
The roommate who randomly bakes chocolate chip cookies on Saturday afternoon = the best. This is not that roommate. This guy is always boiling eggs or sautéing onions and making the whole apartment smell like *ss.
7. The Roommate Who Doesn't Cover Their Mouth
Whether they have the flu and can't stop coughing, or their seasonal allergies are acting up and they're nonstop sneezing, this roommate can never manage to cover their mouth. Like, would it kill you? No one wants to take a shower in your germs.
8. The One Who Won't Let You Leave Your Room If You're Sick
On the other hand, the germaphobe roommate isn't the best alternative. Everyone gets sick. Ev-er-y-one. But the roommate who has a hardcore fear of getting sick can't understand this, and they practically shame you for blowing your nose. They follow you around with a can of lysol and ask you to stay in your room as much as possible. You probably get so annoyed you want to cough on their pillow when they're not around. But you don't, because you're not a savage.
9. The One Who Is Weird About You Borrowing Things
This roommate is way too overprotective over their stuff. If you make tea and ask to use their monogrammed Anthropologie mug because yours is in the dishwasher, they react like you kicked their dog. And they always come up with some weird reason why you can't use their stuff. Sharing is caring; this person doesn't get it.
10. The One Who Breaks All Of Your Wine Glasses
You no longer own any matching dinnerware because over the course of a year living with this roommate, he's dropped and broken three bowls, two wine glasses, a coffee mug, and a cutting board. Yes, a cutting board. He also melted the plastic pasta strainer. This is why we can't have nice things.
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