I was hardly a week into my job at CQ when I feared I'd made a huge mistake. You see, I'd come across an article published by this very outlet that suggested something so antithetical to my core beliefs that I feared I might never come to terms with it. That article is this: A passionate manifesto against the innocent—and, I would argue, necessary–top sheet.
Luckily, we're an open-minded bunch here at HB and, after a spirited discussion in one staff meeting (it appears this issue is, indeed, a divisive one), the team suggested I write a rebuttal. And rebut I will.
As I see it, the top sheet has been overlooked and under-appreciated for a long time now. In her story, Danielle Tullo calls it "the useless linen that comes with the rest of your bedding set," a designation I'm sure no harmless piece of linen or cotton deserves. Two years ago, GQ posited that (though they, too, offered up an days later).
Now, dear reader, I plan to argue this point on three counts. The first: aesthetics. Scroll through the following images of gorgeous, inviting beds:
What do they all have in common? Two words: Top. Sheets. Yes, as Eddie Ross reminded us a few weeks ago, the top sheet is an essential part of creating that lovely, layered look that makes the best beds look so inviting. And with so much great bedding out there, who in their right mind would pass up the opportunity for one more way to use it?
And use it you do, given the fact that we spend some third of our lives under the covers. Which brings me to point two: hygiene. I'd like you to think long and hard about the last time you washed your duvet cover. Now think about the fact that you may well spend more time between your sheets than you do in the clothing you presumably toss in the hamper at the end of the day like the civilized individual that you are. Yes, we all know that duvet covers are washable, but we also all know the game of Twister that is wrestling that duvet back into its cover. I'm skeptical of anyone who claims to do that weekly.
Speaking of Twister, the final complaint I see levied against top sheets is that they have a knack for getting twisted and shoved down to the bottom of the bed in the night. I'm here to tell you that's no fault of their own. As a chronic toss-and-turner myself, I can testify that a top sheet properly tucked and folded will withstand even the most fitful night of sleep. So instead of hating on the sheets, maybe we should all just be learning how to make our beds.
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